Disclaimer: Don’t take it seriously, I mean the disclaimer.. just a crazy funny thought below ;)
Was sipping the tasty coffee in the office canteen.. and a superluminal thought passed by.. yes thoughts are always superluminal.. they travel faster than light.. which is why time travel is possible in your thoughts.. you can think about past as well as about future, if required, at the same time..
my thought was futuristic, because unlike anti-matter, the matter that makes me travels from past to future.. btw who told anti-matter travels the other way round? Feynmann, to be more precise, those diagrams..
Coming back to my thought, I was wondering.. how to avoid work.. and still get paid.. so that you can live the life 100% the way you want.. just keep roaming all over the world.. keep thinking and doing things that you always wanted to because rarely you get paid for what you like to do ;)
so was wondering what if I have a robot that will go to work instead of me and will get paid.. a software architect robot! A robot that knows all the design patterns.. can draw visio diagrams.. fill in technical specifications.. talk to the clients for expected future needs of the system.. decide on the platform, j2EE or .Net.. select a language C# or java.. decide on the best design.. etc etc and even lots more of such etc
and this robot will go to office everyday.. or probably will stay in office forever.. and do all my work at the office during the regular office hours.. and will plug itself into an electrical socket and get charged as it sleeps during the night !!
The company will give me salary.. since I own the robot (Companies cant own robots, only humans can, to maintain animate-inanimate relationships).. and robots dont need money.. so the salary is for me.. while the robot works for me, I will be trekking inside the forests.. wondering about all the animals that are roaming around without wearing anything and yet looking more civilized than my species! thinking about blackholes, hoping that they are the other side of the same coin i.e quasars reading more vedic texts trying to decode them.. composing more music on my synthesizer.. attempting to organize clouds and bring rain using megh malhar..
In the mean time the robot continues to work.. without complaining.. because it has no emotions.. so who cares even if the client scolds.. robot can redirect those sentences to junk folder..
But lo, what about others who are not software architects ?
Hmm.. so we need to have all categories of robots..
call center robots, BPO robots, developer robots, tester robots, . no, we don’t need any project manager robots, unlike humans, robots get paid for the work they actually do, not for forwarding emails saying fyi or fya.. that can be automated with few rules ;)
But lets think beyond IT.. we can have cab driver robots.. we can have office boy robots.. we can have catering robots..
lets really think way beyond IT.. we can have traffic police robots, shopkeeper robots, marketing and sales robots, pizza delivery robots, farmer robots, doctor robots, lawyer robots, potter robots (without harry), so many of them.
politician robots? no thanks, only humans can do this work.. its way complicated for robots.. any attempt to create a political robot will result in nervous break down of the robot system requiring invocation of Asimov’s laws !
but then the costs of buying these robots will depend on how much the robots can earn for you.. the more they earn, the more the cost, so the more difficult to buy them..
there are cheap robots which earn more for you too.. but beware, dont buy them.. they all are Made In China.. you wont even get three months salary.. the robot will die out even before getting a confirmation letter from the company! dont get mislead by the term lifetime guarantee, for the Chinese robots, life time means the robot’s life time, not yours!
So buy only quality robots, even though they are costlier.. from Sony.. for even better quality buy from Prani (that will be my company, an Indian brand, the robot will be seen in the canteen 5 days a week, but will be working on the weekends and will complete all its work, bugs or no bugs, what matters is that the build compiles !)
In the future, when somebody meets you, they wont ask you anymore What are you doing?, instead they will ask What is your robot doing? or even if they ask the former, they actually mean the latter ! You, Robot, I Robot all one and the same..
When you buy a robot get a good quality one that lasts long, that can get a good second hand rate, in case you plan to switch profession later.. btw there is no retirement age.. no pensions.. you can work, I mean your robot can work for you as long as you are there to take the salary.. after you are no more, your robot will be donated to the economically backward sections of the society by the government..
No, don’t be greedy, you cant have more than one robot just like you cant work in more than one company today
Also, you will need to periodically upgrade your robots with the latest technology.. if today you buy a C-Sharp developer robot.. and tomorrow a new language D-too sharp comes into the market.. you will have to upgrade your robot to D else your robot will be on bench and you will be under pressure.. So when you buy your robot make sure that they can be upgraded..
Robots cant claim to have fallen ill.. so they cant take sick leave.. but they can get damaged and need repair.. so they will have Neon or nervous breakdown leave.. and no, they wont get privileged leave, they are no so privileged.. you are taking all those leaves, 365 days a year.. except on a leap year when symbolically on february 29 you work for a day, just to make sure that the human gene still remembers what work means.. but as I said, it will be symbolic.. nobody wants to take a chance allowing you to play with production data.. so anything you do on february 29 will be shift deleted by the robot on March 1
In the mean time I got a call.. time for the telecon, please dont be a guest appearance as usual..